What keeps a relationship on?

This morning I noticed something curious. It is something that has always been happening with everyone, but we don’t put our minds to it. My phone battery had dropped overnight, even though I wasn’t using it. This reminded me of something deeper: Phones lose battery simply to stay on. Human beings burn energy just to stay alive even when resting. That’s why we eat, sleep, and breathe: to fuel the body’s background functions.

And then it hit me…Relationships are the same.

Even when no one is arguing, planning, laughing, or making love, relationships still consume energy. They’re always “on,” always running in the background. But unlike phones (which we plug in), and unlike bodies (which we feed), most people don’t ask: What fuels a relationship to keep it alive even in rest mode? Here’s what I found.

Just like phones, relationships drain energy. Even when not “actively used,” a relationship draws invisible power to maintain connection. And like humans, relationships burn emotional and relational fuel to stay healthy. So the real question becomes:  What are the inputs? What “feeds” a relationship?

Emotional Nourishment – Like Food to the Body

Humans eat to refuel their cells. Relationships need to be fed with love, reassurance, safety, and tenderness, especially through quiet or difficult seasons. A kind word, a long hug, a check-in text, and a small thoughtful act. These are the meals that nourish love. When this food is withheld, the relationship begins to starve even if no one’s yelling or fighting.

Recharging Time – Like Charging a Phone

Phones need regular charging. So do relationships. This means intentional time together that isn’t about solving problems, but simply being, laughing, resting, talking, or creating memories. Who plugs it in? Both partners. One person can’t keep charging a relationship where the other keeps unplugging.

Oxygen of Trust – Like Breathing for Humans

Without trust, a relationship chokes slowly. Trust isn’t just about loyalty, it’s about emotional safety.

• Can I be myself with you?
• Do you care when I’m hurting?
• Will you hold my hand when I’m weak?

Trust breathes life into even the most silent moments. Without it, the love suffocates, even if everything looks calm on the outside.

Maintenance of the System – Like Software Updates

Phones need system updates, bodies need check-ups, and relationships need intentional conversations and course correction:

• How are we doing?
• Have you felt distant lately?
• Are your needs still being met?

Love that is never reviewed will eventually fall behind and crash under unspoken frustrations.

So, what does a relationship burn to stay alive?

• Emotional calories (care, presence, forgiveness)
• Power from mutual recharging time
• Trust as air
• Maintenance through honest reflection

Without these, the relationship starts dying, not from drama, but from neglect.

Final Thought

Phones don’t just die when you drop them, they die when you forget to charge them. Bodies don’t just collapse from accidents, they break down when you stop feeding them. In the same way, relationships don’t just end from betrayal, they fade when both people stop giving them what they need to live.