Sieving It – The S-PM Way
The semi-permeable is a barrier that allows certain molecules or ions to pass through while restricting others. It is amazing how it works. It is said to allow substances to pass through whilst blocking others that might not be good for the cell.
I see this truth in relationships. For relationships and marriages to be successful, there is the need to block certain things, and at the same time, allow certain things to permeate. In marriages and relationships, healthy boundaries and shared values and more we shall be looking at act as the semi-permeable membranes. They let in what nourishes the relationship and filter out what harms it.
How this works
Just like a biological membrane protects and supports life inside a cell, the “membrane” of a relationship ensures, love, support, truth, forgiveness, and intimacy are allowed in whilst toxic habits, disrespect, external drama, betrayal, and manipulation are filtered out.
What forms this membrane?
- Mutual Boundaries: Knowing what’s allowed and what isn’t (with family, exes, technology, etc.)
- Emotional Intelligence: Letting in correction, but not cruelty.
- Communication Filters: Accepting honest feedback, but rejecting verbal abuse.
- Spiritual or Philosophical Alignment: Receiving shared guidance and rejecting harmful influences.
- Agreements/Commitments: The unspoken “membrane rules” couples create to protect their space
If the membrane is weak?
- Toxic people can intrude
- Emotional infections like resentment or disrespect can spread
- Energy drains, like constant comparison or external validation, seep in.
This means very marriage or relationship must strengthen their semi-permeable membrane. Here are some suggested ways to follow:
- Communicate your needs clearly and consistently
- Say no without guilt
- Protect your personal time and space
- Limit access to people who disrespect your boundaries.
In Short
A healthy relationship is not wide open to everything, it is open to what builds and closed to what breaks. Just like cells die when their membrane is damaged, many relationships die not from lack of love, but from a broken boundary system. What are going to be doing differently from today?
